spoiled rotten (or blessed abundantly?)

sometimes I ponder my beautiful family and think, "how on earth is any guy or gal going to compete with my family members at taking such good, sweet thoughtful care of me." Seriously.

My dad for as long as I remember has made breakfast and lunch for me--if I let him--despite my pickyness and particularity with food variety, and when I was in high school, he'd wake me up himself, knowing that I hated the alarm clock.

My brothers both look out for me and love me so much, and Rémy and my dad both take extra care at giving me the most outrageous and sometimes ridiculous sweet compliments, making me feel so incredibly special.

Both of my parents have done a great job at consistently reminding each of us of our unique strengths and gifts and praising us (almost at some moments of my life, to the point of bigheadedness on my part--I have to admit) and reminding us of God's love for us.

My family also has always been encouraging and sweet to me about my random sense of fashion and they've put up with gentleness (often undeserved) with my extremely strong opinion about most things in the world.

My mom is the best at leaving me unique little gifts on my pillow and sweet notes, and my dad has the most wonderful ability to empathetically listen to my rambling stories about life, love and other mysteries.

My mom has always been an amazing problem-solver, in the countless moments of ADD crises in my life, and all of us love to sing together.

Each member of my family has consistently pointed me back towards Christ, the center and lovingly redirected me in my times of soul-wandering.

All these qualities make up one tall order for any possible future spouse of Rémy, Merritt or I... :)

onion breath

so since the last two posts were me taking my life so incredibly seriously, here is the other side of me:

i'm totally clashing in colors today and listening to Manamana by the Muppets and ridiculous John Reuben, and I have onion breath from Subway for lunch.

Subway and this dreary weather has brought back waves of memories of college roadtrips over Thanksgiving breaks and driving for the first times and laughter and tears and wow. friendships that i miss a lot.

at work today having a chill Teacher-In-Service day doing some "curriculum mapping". It's actually really peaceful and cozy in here. I think it's the friends and music and happy lights in here and well, it's nice to get an overview of this year through this process.

Anywho! cheerful chill day and I'm looking forward greatly to this weekend!! my small group and I are all showing up at Banquet in red and black! OHHHH SNAP! ;) I can't wait. It's going to be fabulous. I cannot wait.

sunrise sunset

yesterday was stunning and surprising. the morning started out in exploding colors--shades of orangey peach splashed over with clouds of deep perwinkle purple. it was the most colorful sunrise I have seen since that Conference 05 sunrise over the Danube.

the day itself was blustery grey, monotone colors all except the stubborn quivering goldenrod leaves on the tree outside our classroom window. they are the last ones to hold on and i have been silently cheering them on, wishing for their strength to hold out through winter. i know it's foolish to hope for this, but i truly nearly cried last week when out of the corner of my eye, i spied outside our window movement--at first mistaking it for snow, but discovering that it was just a flurry of the last lovely leaves in our little thicket.

a friend--a fellow dreamer--recommended Robert Frost to me for this new season, and i was delighted to find a copy of one of his poetry books in our little RIA library. starry-eyed i have been pouring over its pages and ran across this little gem, which perfectly expresses the sentiment i have been feeling in this changing of seasons:

Reluctance

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

the beauty of this poem is that in my mind it is paired flawlessly with this one:

Revelation

We make ourselves a place apart
Behind light words that tease and flout,
But oh, the agitated hear
Till someone really find us out.

'Tis pity if the case require
(Or so we say) that in the end
We speak the literal to inspire
The understanding of a friend.

But so with all, from babes that play
At hid-and-seek to God afar,
So all who hide too well away
Must speak and tell us where they are.

how true it is; how vital community is for our survival and sanity, and as a child of God filled with the Holy Spirit, how beautiful it is to feel his Spirit pouring in and through us as He ministers to our spirits in relationship. even in moments of lack of words or inspiration, his Holy Spirit speaks volumes in the pregnant silences, in the tears and shared pain, and in the smiles and freckles.

i cannot forget to mention the beauty of last evening. after a moment of connecting with my friend aubrey and praying with her, i walked out into the rapidly descending dusk and could not tear my eyes away from the cloud-laced moon above, and the deep shades of blues and violets that painted the skies.

parentheses around a seemingly-mundane day. how little we see of what God is doing, yet how blessed we are with reminders of His work and sovereignty unavoidably displayed across a giant canvas up above.

crystal blades of grass

each one distinguished
crisp silverized
the palest of greens

clear cold blue sky
promise of pink
as the sun rises

misty softness
rounding the bends
beauty of the new day

wedding plans?

sometimes but only rarely, i experience the pain of my calling.

at small group the other night, I discovered as soon as I opened up the sharing time that I had made a huge mistake... The intro to this discovery was an explosion of giggles by two of my girls huddled in a corner of the couch, and the following declaration in a singsong voice: "Delice is gettin' marriiiiied!!" followed by more overflowing giggles.

after a brief moment of baffled laughter, the reason for this ridiculous statement became clear: they had seen me hanging out with a male R.A. at my house... and then the news of our walk together in the forest (COMPLETELY non-romantic) must have been reported by one of their dads who passed us on a jog.

the huge mistake I made was to hang out intentionally with such a public figure of a young adult male in this tiny community. I was completely unable to get myself out of this mess for a solid TEN MINUTE chunk of precious small group time, and after red-faced explanations and defenses and after they had squeezed ONE thing I am attracted to about this particular guy, I stolidly turned the focus away from this all, glanced at the clock and exclaimed: "AH! no more time!!" to which my little brit Ami quipped: "I know!! We spent the whole time talking about your impending marriage!"


the mischievous clan huddled in our weekly "I-don't-want-to-go-yet!!" time!

snow...

so I am not sure how I feel about snow today. the cold and shiver that I felt a lOT of today makes me feel reluctant to fall into the romance of the beauty of snow. and the fact that it's not COMPLETELY snowy yet. and the fact that I need to change my tires. :P so basically I'm being a butthead about it.


TRULY though in real life, it's so beautiful here and I really have nothing to complain about. In fact, today I was reminiscing about my winter in Colorado and the beauty I experienced there... I really am amazed that I survived a winter in Colorado and a BLIZZARD... I'm such a cold wuss. It's really amazing.

in other news, I often return to my desperate longing to be an amazing learner/ rememberer at song lyrics and today my favorite was "baby it's cold outside", that devastatingly adorable song from the film "elf"? well, not from the film, but that's where I know it from. you know what i mean. anyway.

wow this kind of journalling is one I need to hone again. my apologies at my rustiness. :)

edit: ps: i'm working on this link thing. It's cantankerous (look that one up, Aubrey). ;) maybe it's just this mac and my un-macness though. who knows. anyway.

friends' blog links!

until I can figure this out... :)

http://www.mellonation.blogspot.com/

http://anotherragamuffin.blogspot.com/

http://www.dailyphotofix.com/

http://mellophotos.blogspot.com/

a few snapshots of life here

number one--first--premier--numéro un

thinking many thoughts lately and i have not been in the journaling mode, however... this may become a place to share thoughts to hopefully get feedback on.

for now, to start with: I have made a recent discovery. the House MD soundtrack has fluttered mysteriously into my hands and I have found it a wonderful life companion. check it out.